For the past ten or so years I always feel anxious around the holidays. There’s something about the nights getting longer and the cold weather looming that sends nervous bubbles all throughout my body and I feel an aching dread in the pit of my stomach. My fight or flight responses are put in full gear and I feel on edge and triggered. Then I start thinking something bad is going to happen- and my anxiety goes through the roof.
Islam is my foundation so I always find my self praying and trusting in Allah to take care of me and pave the way. After all, without tawakkul I wouldn’t have made it this far and I always rely on the power of trusting Him. There is something so comforting and powerful in putting all your trust in Allah and then just letting it be. The Most High is aware and is capable of handling my affairs for me, and that’s enough respite to get me through anything and really just ignore the naysayers or the futile attempts at sabotage.

Because I’m from the southwest, the climate and bitter cold of Virginia takes some time to get used to. It was an exciting culture shock when I moved to Fairfax because even the roads were different. I knew I had adjusted when I could imitate the “o” vowel sound Northerners use at the end of a sentence. I also relied on GPS a lot less, and didn’t need it to get from point A to point B, or as my daughter likes to call it “Snap Map.”

As many of my readers and social media followers know, I’ve had a pretty intense life as a journalist in Libya and the Middle East, not to mention my little stint in DC so it didn’t really come as a shock when I find out about my diagnosis. Most really passionate and intense people feel a connection to other worldly dimensions and have a significant backstory that they may or may not feel like sharing. It’s important to keep in mind that we don’t know each other’s lived experiences or childhood history because we’ve met them or shared a few conversations. It always struck me as rude and very very off-putting when Arabs I met abroad felt entitled to everything about me just because someone made the introduction. I much prefer to be around people who are more reserved and show a little restraint socially and I have found that as an adult in the US.

One of the things I love about the Judeo-Christian movement is the universal message of respect and empathy that we strive to live by. It took a lot of fighting and letting go to get to pave my own path and get to this point and I’ll be damned if I let someone just take it away.

You haven’t lived a day in my shoes so don’t pretend they fit you.